car was broke in yesterday

yesterday, my sisters car kene broke in.. i went to my visit my granma at sjmc hospital. then i saw atique,ira ,bro and nico. so i just decided to talk to them laa. from 9pm to about 12.. i park at the back of sjmc because when i came there was no parking near sjmc or inside sjmc.. there's nothing in the car tho but i just feel sad.
talk to a person yesterday. she made me feel alil better. but then now i dont know.. maybe i just feel sad for no reason or maybe i just want some attention .. i aite an attention seeker. but sometimes at times like this i just want someone to just hang and all. haha.. i dont really tell people.. i aspect them to understand.. so if they dont layan me pun i dont blaim them. i just blaim my self.. i'v been feeling like this for olmost all my life.. so yeah.. this feeling will go away soon enuff i guess. but for now it sux.. with this feeling, i'v become some kinda antisocial guy. dont really talk to people and all. so if people that reads my blog if i dont layan you for just maybe a few week please understand.. i dont have a good past. might dont have a good future as well.

you know what??fuck the world. hahah.. so what if i dont have a good future.. ill work for it.! my lecturer is like a fung sui guy thinggy.. i dont really belive in that things but he say for now u might have a bad life and all. he knows, but in the future ull have a good life. made me feel abit better i guess. its like a a determination for me to work harder for my future and all.

this sem i might screw up a litle abit. i wont fail any subject.. but i just might not get good result.. that's it. next sem.. my target is to get 3.5 CGPA or above. i want to study overseas. i wanna live the life i always wanted.. so yeah..! hope i will get it. :) that's it i guess. :) haha..

ill update more soon enuff. :) will be going to pd tonight. :) ganna enjoy my ass off before i get back to the real world! hope ill feel alot better once i get back.. i need a vacation. haha.. everybody does!! so yeah.. that's it. :) peace yall!

This video is sick werh!

there's this Korean video clip. made me feel kinda sad and almost cried. and i watch this stupid video over and over and over again.. it still get me sad. stupid Korean. always with they emotional movie dramas and video clip.. haihz.. but i still love to watch it. what to do.. hahha

i just feel that i have to share with u guys this video.. haha.. well to the people that haven seen it yet la. :)

haihz.

dam la werh.. i think i say this one to many times. hmmm.. i dont know when ever i'm feelinf happy i always make people sad.. its a fucking curse i tell u.. dont really belive in it . but its happening to me alright!! now days feelinf fucking lazy to make friends anymore.. this fealing might just be for today je laa. but still.. it hurts my balls werh.. make me so fucking emo and moody when it hapends. the thing is i dont know what i did wrong.. if i knew then its a different thing jugak. ni i dont know what i did at all!? suddently the person i'm talking to is so quite!! what i did la werhhh!!. haihz.. if the person that read this is you or terasa i'm sry.. i'm truly am.

Things are looking great!

by now people who read or act follow my blog thinks i am always emo beyond no reason sometimes. but now i'm ok. have good friends , join sc(student council) so in college i am always occupied with stuff to do and all. they make me happy. :) well sometimes when i feel like kene ignore to lain cerita la.they sometimes speak chinise all the time until i dont even know what's going on or why are they laughing. i do understand abit but not alot. so yeah...but that's a good thing in a way.. ^^v i get my own time to do things(fresh air) haha.. but other then that they are cool! i do have other friends beside the sc members. my college mate/class mates and all. they are cool. ++ band mates they are cool as well. well basically everyone has their own good and bad side right? so i cant really complain about stuff and all. because i have my own down side.. when i'm sad i am very anti sosial. even people that i know i dont even say hi and all. i just ignore them or i dont even look at them even if i see them. =.='' but now days i guess i'm ok i guess.

trying to stop smoking tho.. slowly cutting down. from malboro reds winston lights. hope in time ill stop.. i know not alot of people like smokers except smokers la. haha.. if posible i wanna find a partner that doesn't smoke so that i wont have the erge to smoke or what so ever.. haha..! right nw i am suprise my self.. usually i 1 box of 20s ill finish by 2-3 days. by the 3rd day ill buy a new box. right now box of 20s i still have like what? 8? and its the 4 day.

i love my friends very much if i'm close to them.. so sometimes people get me wrong when i'm too concern about that someone.. so people dont get me wrong ok? even guys. if i know you and if i always see you and talk to you in college if you dont show up or i dont see you for atleast 1 week ill just randomly call you. just to ask what's up. not beeing gay ar.. =.= pissed of at that someone for doing that to me last time. its been a long time so i kinda let it slip my mind. haha..

so people.. i am not an emo person you guys know.. i'm a new person. sometimes i feel that i lost my retandness because i am not emo anymore.. when i am not emo. i feel mature. =.= my retardness makes me feel that i'm a fun person. =.= arrhghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! but nvm laa. i think people like mature people .. girls laa. they see me as a joker jee. =.= not as a boyfriends material. well some girls like it la. but most girls dont like it and some people dont like it. so i just ganna be a lil more mature then i use to. but to my old friends sry laa. the retardness stay~!! i dont care! haha.. new people as in i know when i stared college till now ill try to change abit laa. abitt jee. dont worry to much! hehe..

Words aren't that simple.

how can i tell someone i like her with some simple words?
is it to early or maybe to late,

how can i express my selfs with just words,
when i cant say anything right when i see her,
its like i become stupid or some guy that i dont know.

how did i manage not to be myself?
its like she has this thing that pulls me down when i see her face,
or when she comes online ill be rushing to say hi.

how can i be sad when ever i see her eventhought we havent met at all?
she has this thing that no girl or women have or has,
i might fall for someone fast,
but i dont tell her i like her until i really know it.
is it stupid or foolish of me to do so?
or maybe its just me?

how can u like someone u dont even know?
she has many secrets i can tell,
she changes topic when ever we talk about something,
every time i say something flirty she's reply me slow or short,
is she shy or she doesn't like me?
or maybe its just to fast?

all good side has it bad side,
no one in this world is perfect,
god made us this way for a reason,
and i except it with all my heart.

so? can someone tell me how do you express your self with just words?
it can be done,
romoe did it.
shakespeare didnt it,
i bet alot of writers did it,
its their inspiration ,
or maybe they cant express it out loud?

i dont know if i like that someone now days,
like and love is very confusing,
love is like you wanna be with that person forever!
like is u like to be with that person or u just want to admirer her without telling her.
me? i admire alot of people!
or when ever i love that person, i dont dare to tell her if i do so,
maybe its because i dont know if i can make her happy?
this is my big problem in the love life,
i cant make decition,
i cant make decition on who i like? and who i wanna be with?
and i dont have the balls to say to someone i like her and i wanna be with her
i'm scared of hurting someone,
i felt the pain, and it does haunt me sometimes when i am a sleep or when i feel alone.
and it sux!

Words aren't that simple.

how can i tell someone i like her with some simple words?
is it to early or maybe to late,

how can i express my selfs with just words,
when i cant say anything right when i see her,
its like i become stupid or some guy that i dont know.

how did i manage not to be myself?
its like she has this thing that pulls me down when i see her face,
or when she comes online ill be rushing to say hi.

how can i be sad when ever i see her eventhought we havent met at all?
she has this thing that no girl or women have or has,
i might fall for someone fast,
but i dont tell her i like her until i really know it.
is it stupid or foolish of me to do so?
or maybe its just me?

how can u like someone u dont even know?
she has many secrets i can tell,
she changes topic when ever we talk about something,
every time i say something flirty she's reply me slow or short,
is she shy or she doesn't like me?
or maybe its just to fast?

all good side has it bad side,
no one in this world is perfect,
god made us this way for a reason,
and i except it with all my heart.

so? can someone tell me how do you express your self with just words?
it can be done,
romoe did it.
shakespeare didnt it,
i bet alot of writers did it,
its their inspiration ,
or maybe they cant express it out loud?

i dont know if i like that someone now days,
like and love is very confusing,
love is like you wanna be with that person forever!
like is u like to be with that person or u just want to admirer her without telling her.
me? i admire alot of people!
or when ever i love that person, i dont dare to tell her if i do so,
maybe its because i dont know if i can make her happy?
this is my big problem in the love life,
i cant make decition,
i cant make decition on who i like? and who i wanna be with?
and i dont have the balls to say to someone i like her and i wanna be with her
i'm scared of hurting someone,
i felt the pain, and it does haunt me sometimes when i am a sleep or when i feel alone.
and it sux!

why do i always fal for girls that dont have feelings for me.

why do i always fall for girls that have no feelings toward me at all?
why cant i fall for someone that i like me?
is it to hard to fall for someone u like?
or the world is just trying to make life hard for you?

i cant help my self of who i like and who i dont like?
i dont really control it. my feeling do.
its like nothing is going right in my love life,
when i say nothing means nothing at all.

from last year till end of this year,
i keep on falling for the wrong person at the right time,
or the right person at the wrong time,
the feeling sux werh.

i dont know if anyone ever felt like this?
i dont know any guy/man ever felt like this?
when i see other people, ill get jelous and envy,
they can get their partner easily when i have to search for it,
this might be a good thing as well,
who know's when i finally get mine it would be superb!!
but the bad thing is nothing that is super great that i can brag about my self.

there are some good stuff happening to me,
its not all bad ya?
i still have good memories that i think about that makes me smile,
alot of bad memories that always bring me down.