New years for me? and about me.

As i expected i'm having my new years alone. lol.. well i'm kinda at starbux at the moment , its 11.42pm by my lap top watch. kinda bord here alone but its way better then home. just thinking about staying home alone made me emotional. haha. neways i'm at ss15 starbux. ordered a coffie and planing to stay here till new years . all around me are friends and couples .. i kinda felt regret that i didnt make any close friends that were close to me. the one that i can truss anyway. when i think back. i was like a loner when i was in high school i did olmost everything alone . and i stayed at home most of the time like a good boy. but i did some bad stuff la. like skip school and all. ahha.. that's not the point right now. i think i have quite alot of friends then. but what hapend now? what's going on with my life? i think i screw it a long time ago when i thought i was a fat kid that annoyed peopel alot .. i think i have a problem with my self that. *cepat terasa. i cant help thinking what other people think about me. its like when ever people look at me in a different way ill be like *ok he dont like me. maybe i should back off. then i dont talk to them anymore. but i change now. alot.! but the past is still the past. and it kinda brought back to the present .. right now. i use to keep every single little itsy bitsy thing to my self even though that thing would hurt me if i dont let it out.but i did learn to get it off my chest ..

most people dont know me for me. they know me by old dani. when i was in high school . and belive it or not most people judge me the 1st time they see me. i know. i heard people talking about me. as in heard with my own ears. they will be like this dani ar i think he is a player la. he always around girls and he can talk to girls easy la. girls olso talk to her easy. got hug hug here and there ..some times got kiss kiss. (friendly kiss saying hi) ;) .. when they dont even know me? i got met this girl that i went out with. her name will not be shown or tell to other. ok, we went out like a few time i think she likes me for me. after less then a month i thought i could get her to be my girl . but then she says ; dani, i rather be friends with you. ur a friendly guy and all. but i sometimes see you flirting with other girl and hug and talk to them most of the time. girls msg you sometimes. (its now 11.54 olmost new year) its hard for me to be with you when ur always around girls .. ill get jealous easily u care about everyone you know? what about me? can u give that attention to me.? then some other stuff and all . that's the last time we talk. we kinda been avoiding each other . this year has been quite suffering for me to some people who really know me know what i'm talking about. i think in this world less then 3. :) i though i would have great friends when i enter college. but its been worse and worse. (its 12.00 am now.) HAPPY NEW YEAR!!) ader la some ups. i have great friends there that i care about and all. but they dont beat friends that u know since high school and primary school ya know? (there a fireworks view here at starbux) hahh! ok la i think i wrote to much la. haha.. :) i think ill stop and and continue later. :) i hope i dont sound nagging or anything *but i think i do. if you dont wanna read it i dont mind. :) just dont judge it? hahh!