bord..

my blog sux.. haha for a multimedia student who can create his one website.. this blog sux. :) just wanted to say that.. ++ i barely update anymore.. so yaeh.. haha

bord..

Emo blog..

ok i think i can only write if i am emo.. haha.. if i am not emo i wont write..
neways people dont visit my blog anyways because i dont update that much.. well i am updating it now.. i have no idea why i am so emo these few days.. maybe i dont have that ''someone'' to talk to. i am dragging my self away from people now days. i dont know why.. i have a reason.. for every action there is a reason .. i just dont know what is the reason yet. haihz. only crazy people dont have reason to be emo or mad or sad or what ever emotion they are having right now. like me.. i am just bullshit. sad for no fucking reason? haha.. BODOH! =.='' <--(to me)

i wanna be happy. its just that when i see people have a gf i want to have it to, n i have no idea why i am more attracted to other people's gf.. that is one of the reason i keep my self away from people that is doubled. the single onces. hmm i dont knw laa. haha. stupid kan? sedih la hidup mcm ni.. nak jadik player but nak gf yg baik? hmmm.. mcm maner 2? just with i could just play with a girl like she's a toy then trow her aways like shes garbage and not feeling any guilt in side of me. <--( that is the down side of me!) i feel guilty to fast. say sry to much . need to fucking change man.! but i dont wanna be like that person.. i have a friend that is like that.. i SERIOUSLY dont wanna be like that. see all the girls he hurt. adoii! kenape la life so complicated ni!

haihz..

ok there's this girl that like me. i think. but she's kinda going to fast on things and i like it slow and stedy at the 1st stage. but she remeinds me alot like my x gf. and she has a sister that has the same nick name as my ex. =.='' trying to forget her but she keeps on coming to me. how eh? xkan nak ckp owhh u remind me alot like my ex. so i dont wanna see you anymore. she's a nice girl. dont wanna hurt her because of a stupid reason. and i dont feel the love when i am around her., no butterflys and all. usually when i like this somoeone i would feel the things i said just now. then i know i really like that person. love and like is 2 different things.. for now i dont even like her as in like like .. how eh?

car was broke in yesterday

yesterday, my sisters car kene broke in.. i went to my visit my granma at sjmc hospital. then i saw atique,ira ,bro and nico. so i just decided to talk to them laa. from 9pm to about 12.. i park at the back of sjmc because when i came there was no parking near sjmc or inside sjmc.. there's nothing in the car tho but i just feel sad.
talk to a person yesterday. she made me feel alil better. but then now i dont know.. maybe i just feel sad for no reason or maybe i just want some attention .. i aite an attention seeker. but sometimes at times like this i just want someone to just hang and all. haha.. i dont really tell people.. i aspect them to understand.. so if they dont layan me pun i dont blaim them. i just blaim my self.. i'v been feeling like this for olmost all my life.. so yeah.. this feeling will go away soon enuff i guess. but for now it sux.. with this feeling, i'v become some kinda antisocial guy. dont really talk to people and all. so if people that reads my blog if i dont layan you for just maybe a few week please understand.. i dont have a good past. might dont have a good future as well.

you know what??fuck the world. hahah.. so what if i dont have a good future.. ill work for it.! my lecturer is like a fung sui guy thinggy.. i dont really belive in that things but he say for now u might have a bad life and all. he knows, but in the future ull have a good life. made me feel abit better i guess. its like a a determination for me to work harder for my future and all.

this sem i might screw up a litle abit. i wont fail any subject.. but i just might not get good result.. that's it. next sem.. my target is to get 3.5 CGPA or above. i want to study overseas. i wanna live the life i always wanted.. so yeah..! hope i will get it. :) that's it i guess. :) haha..

ill update more soon enuff. :) will be going to pd tonight. :) ganna enjoy my ass off before i get back to the real world! hope ill feel alot better once i get back.. i need a vacation. haha.. everybody does!! so yeah.. that's it. :) peace yall!

This video is sick werh!

there's this Korean video clip. made me feel kinda sad and almost cried. and i watch this stupid video over and over and over again.. it still get me sad. stupid Korean. always with they emotional movie dramas and video clip.. haihz.. but i still love to watch it. what to do.. hahha

i just feel that i have to share with u guys this video.. haha.. well to the people that haven seen it yet la. :)

haihz.

dam la werh.. i think i say this one to many times. hmmm.. i dont know when ever i'm feelinf happy i always make people sad.. its a fucking curse i tell u.. dont really belive in it . but its happening to me alright!! now days feelinf fucking lazy to make friends anymore.. this fealing might just be for today je laa. but still.. it hurts my balls werh.. make me so fucking emo and moody when it hapends. the thing is i dont know what i did wrong.. if i knew then its a different thing jugak. ni i dont know what i did at all!? suddently the person i'm talking to is so quite!! what i did la werhhh!!. haihz.. if the person that read this is you or terasa i'm sry.. i'm truly am.

Things are looking great!

by now people who read or act follow my blog thinks i am always emo beyond no reason sometimes. but now i'm ok. have good friends , join sc(student council) so in college i am always occupied with stuff to do and all. they make me happy. :) well sometimes when i feel like kene ignore to lain cerita la.they sometimes speak chinise all the time until i dont even know what's going on or why are they laughing. i do understand abit but not alot. so yeah...but that's a good thing in a way.. ^^v i get my own time to do things(fresh air) haha.. but other then that they are cool! i do have other friends beside the sc members. my college mate/class mates and all. they are cool. ++ band mates they are cool as well. well basically everyone has their own good and bad side right? so i cant really complain about stuff and all. because i have my own down side.. when i'm sad i am very anti sosial. even people that i know i dont even say hi and all. i just ignore them or i dont even look at them even if i see them. =.='' but now days i guess i'm ok i guess.

trying to stop smoking tho.. slowly cutting down. from malboro reds winston lights. hope in time ill stop.. i know not alot of people like smokers except smokers la. haha.. if posible i wanna find a partner that doesn't smoke so that i wont have the erge to smoke or what so ever.. haha..! right nw i am suprise my self.. usually i 1 box of 20s ill finish by 2-3 days. by the 3rd day ill buy a new box. right now box of 20s i still have like what? 8? and its the 4 day.

i love my friends very much if i'm close to them.. so sometimes people get me wrong when i'm too concern about that someone.. so people dont get me wrong ok? even guys. if i know you and if i always see you and talk to you in college if you dont show up or i dont see you for atleast 1 week ill just randomly call you. just to ask what's up. not beeing gay ar.. =.= pissed of at that someone for doing that to me last time. its been a long time so i kinda let it slip my mind. haha..

so people.. i am not an emo person you guys know.. i'm a new person. sometimes i feel that i lost my retandness because i am not emo anymore.. when i am not emo. i feel mature. =.= my retardness makes me feel that i'm a fun person. =.= arrhghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! but nvm laa. i think people like mature people .. girls laa. they see me as a joker jee. =.= not as a boyfriends material. well some girls like it la. but most girls dont like it and some people dont like it. so i just ganna be a lil more mature then i use to. but to my old friends sry laa. the retardness stay~!! i dont care! haha.. new people as in i know when i stared college till now ill try to change abit laa. abitt jee. dont worry to much! hehe..

Words aren't that simple.

how can i tell someone i like her with some simple words?
is it to early or maybe to late,

how can i express my selfs with just words,
when i cant say anything right when i see her,
its like i become stupid or some guy that i dont know.

how did i manage not to be myself?
its like she has this thing that pulls me down when i see her face,
or when she comes online ill be rushing to say hi.

how can i be sad when ever i see her eventhought we havent met at all?
she has this thing that no girl or women have or has,
i might fall for someone fast,
but i dont tell her i like her until i really know it.
is it stupid or foolish of me to do so?
or maybe its just me?

how can u like someone u dont even know?
she has many secrets i can tell,
she changes topic when ever we talk about something,
every time i say something flirty she's reply me slow or short,
is she shy or she doesn't like me?
or maybe its just to fast?

all good side has it bad side,
no one in this world is perfect,
god made us this way for a reason,
and i except it with all my heart.

so? can someone tell me how do you express your self with just words?
it can be done,
romoe did it.
shakespeare didnt it,
i bet alot of writers did it,
its their inspiration ,
or maybe they cant express it out loud?

i dont know if i like that someone now days,
like and love is very confusing,
love is like you wanna be with that person forever!
like is u like to be with that person or u just want to admirer her without telling her.
me? i admire alot of people!
or when ever i love that person, i dont dare to tell her if i do so,
maybe its because i dont know if i can make her happy?
this is my big problem in the love life,
i cant make decition,
i cant make decition on who i like? and who i wanna be with?
and i dont have the balls to say to someone i like her and i wanna be with her
i'm scared of hurting someone,
i felt the pain, and it does haunt me sometimes when i am a sleep or when i feel alone.
and it sux!

Words aren't that simple.

how can i tell someone i like her with some simple words?
is it to early or maybe to late,

how can i express my selfs with just words,
when i cant say anything right when i see her,
its like i become stupid or some guy that i dont know.

how did i manage not to be myself?
its like she has this thing that pulls me down when i see her face,
or when she comes online ill be rushing to say hi.

how can i be sad when ever i see her eventhought we havent met at all?
she has this thing that no girl or women have or has,
i might fall for someone fast,
but i dont tell her i like her until i really know it.
is it stupid or foolish of me to do so?
or maybe its just me?

how can u like someone u dont even know?
she has many secrets i can tell,
she changes topic when ever we talk about something,
every time i say something flirty she's reply me slow or short,
is she shy or she doesn't like me?
or maybe its just to fast?

all good side has it bad side,
no one in this world is perfect,
god made us this way for a reason,
and i except it with all my heart.

so? can someone tell me how do you express your self with just words?
it can be done,
romoe did it.
shakespeare didnt it,
i bet alot of writers did it,
its their inspiration ,
or maybe they cant express it out loud?

i dont know if i like that someone now days,
like and love is very confusing,
love is like you wanna be with that person forever!
like is u like to be with that person or u just want to admirer her without telling her.
me? i admire alot of people!
or when ever i love that person, i dont dare to tell her if i do so,
maybe its because i dont know if i can make her happy?
this is my big problem in the love life,
i cant make decition,
i cant make decition on who i like? and who i wanna be with?
and i dont have the balls to say to someone i like her and i wanna be with her
i'm scared of hurting someone,
i felt the pain, and it does haunt me sometimes when i am a sleep or when i feel alone.
and it sux!

why do i always fal for girls that dont have feelings for me.

why do i always fall for girls that have no feelings toward me at all?
why cant i fall for someone that i like me?
is it to hard to fall for someone u like?
or the world is just trying to make life hard for you?

i cant help my self of who i like and who i dont like?
i dont really control it. my feeling do.
its like nothing is going right in my love life,
when i say nothing means nothing at all.

from last year till end of this year,
i keep on falling for the wrong person at the right time,
or the right person at the wrong time,
the feeling sux werh.

i dont know if anyone ever felt like this?
i dont know any guy/man ever felt like this?
when i see other people, ill get jelous and envy,
they can get their partner easily when i have to search for it,
this might be a good thing as well,
who know's when i finally get mine it would be superb!!
but the bad thing is nothing that is super great that i can brag about my self.

there are some good stuff happening to me,
its not all bad ya?
i still have good memories that i think about that makes me smile,
alot of bad memories that always bring me down.

This sux!

how can i tell someone i like her with some simple words?
is it to early or maybe to late,

how can i express my selfs with just words,
when i cant say anything right when i see her,
its like i become stupid or some guy that i dont know.

how did i manage not to be myself?
its like she has this thing that pulls me down when i see her face,
or when she comes online ill be rushing to say hi.

how can i be sad when ever i see her eventhought we havent met at all?
she has this thing that no girl or women have or has,
i might fall for someone fast,
but i dont tell her i like her until i really know it.
is it stupid or foolish of me to do so?
or maybe its just me?

how can u like someone u dont even know?
she has many secrets i can tell,
she changes topic when ever we talk about something,
every time i say something flirty she's reply me slow or short,
is she shy or she doesn't like me?
or maybe its just to fast?

all good side has it bad side,
no one in this world is perfect,
god made us this way for a reason,
and i except it with all my heart.

so? can someone tell me how do you express your self with just words?
it can be done,
romoe did it.
shakespeare didnt it,
i bet alot of writers did it,
its their inspiration ,
or maybe they cant express it out loud?

i dont know if i like that someone now days,
like and love is very confusing,
love is like you wanna be with that person forever!
like is u like to be with that person or u just want to admirer her without telling her.
me? i admire alot of people!
or when ever i love that person, i dont dare to tell her if i do so,
maybe its because i dont know if i can make her happy?
this is my big problem in the love life,
i cant make decition,
i cant make decition on who i like? and who i wanna be with?
and i dont have the balls to say to someone i like her and i wanna be with her
i'm scared of hurting someone,
i felt the pain, and it does haunt me sometimes when i am a sleep or when i feel alone.
and it sux!

this is what i felt today. =.=

this is what i felt today. =.=

One picture says it all.. its from my window room view,, hahah!!

day out with mai and saufi

okok.. i know people do this ALOT!! but its my 1st time... bangge la. xD hahha..xD

i day out with sandy and mel in KL

haha.. well sandy have to do her black and white assignment. and asu guys know i like to menyebuk!! hahha.. so i decided to join in since i like to take photos. its kinda cool. :) heeeee

wtf??

The girl i like turn out to be one of the ''bitches'' i know. -.- haihz.. i tot she was different. wtf la werh.. why the fuck i cant choose someone nice? maybe i should just fuck her up and ciow. haihz.. not me. -.-'' wish i could. muahhaha!!

y do i say she is one of the bitches i know? because he got back with her exbf and ask me out just to get back to hes ex for breaking up with her? like wtf right? monther fucker!! go die laaa!! i cant belive i olmost learn her language to so that i could communicate better with her.. haihz.. luckily i got the sence before anything hapends like my previous case. haha.. good old times. NOTT! =.=

guess what?

hahha.. its all a bummer. i can take i hint la if some one dun like me. :) i'm cool with it neways. no new target. muahahha!! single for awhile when maybe ill find someone. i dont know. i kinda like example if i like that person she that person pun like me. get it? lol hahha.. its hard to explain. hmmm.. i dont like to make someone like me then to me the relationship wont kinda last.. haihz.. nvm la dani.. u have no luck. muhahah..!

Things might just change?

things might just change? i dont know when or when will it happen. but i think it will happen. hahha.. i just hope it does la. hahha. xD dear god. please make me happy and everyone else in this world happy. good people la. the bad can put aside. (i'm a good boy right? right?) hahhha.. dam. i dont know to. hahha. i think i am xD

hard this year?

haha.. i dont know why but this year is getting harder and harder for me. i got my friends that i always wanted and they r great!, but i dont know. sometimes with i could get a partner to. but its hard for me to fall for someone. hahha.. when i say hard mean assignments work and life. hahha.. i dont know. been having some problem at home.. just want someone i could share this with. but its hard to open up now days, people will say i'm weak or something. i am not weak. just wanna let it out!? but its ok la. i move on alot since i was small. the fact it i nvr change . i keep trying to forget about my past but its not working at all. if i change i might be come a bad person/jerk. right now i think i am becoming one. ill try not to ! i promise my self already..

ME being happy is a curse?

hey guy sry for not posting blog for quite some time.. just been very very busy lately. hmmmm.. thing post its kinda true of what is happening in my life. i cant be happy. when ever i am thinking happy or having happy thoughts ill get burn! hahha. y? dont ask me. maybe its part of life. i had someone in mine just a few moments ago, well she didnt turn out to be the person i thought he would. y? i dont know maybe i dont know her yet. but her reaction towards me trying to know her is bad, she thinks i want something more ? how is that happening when i am just smsing her? hmmm.. yeah maybe i was a little creepy. hahha. been looking at her alot didint have the guts to talk to her at 1st. haihz. i know i am kinda doing the bad thing. she as my friends ex. i didnt have any intention right now. just to get to know her? is that bad? i dont thing so. well. i think to much neways huh? hahha.. but u know what its ok. life's move on. and i am just moving on with my life right now. dont think ganna fall for anyone any time soon,. just chill and try to enjoy single life..
that its i guys for this post. :)

Cny Dinner then Party at cal hse+gambel

haha finally we went to Cal cal hse at ss15. :) he is going to aus soon. T_T WHAT LA YOU!! y u wanna go. dont miss us here mer? ahahha! ceh.! we had fun. gammble talk talk. haha. the gamble part was HELL stressfull. hahah!! blackjack was ok. we didnt play poker =.=. the in-between was like WTF!! so many people lost money there. lucky i only lost 4bux, T_T . still money cal cal and sean lost quite alot. the winner of 1 and 2nd table was meebo and andrew. haihz, so lucky. T_T



i took a pic of sean pissing haha!! was like WTF!! i thought he was only joking about pissing out side of someone's hse. hahah!! sry dude. have to post this. neway no nudity right? haha. only sprinkle of water coming out of ur (something that rhyme with sick) hahha!!











here's some food that we ate on that day. it was at Telok Gong in klang. haha. was nice food tho. halal. :)





was nice la. wonder y drew keep making gay (lala) faces. hahaa.!!






haha. i have the people that came that day had fun. because i know i did. haha. that day was my 1st yam seng isit? sry i kinda forgot what that thinggy was called. haha. its where everyone take their chop stik and mix the food around. i kinda forgot what's inside. but i know there's ALOT of veggies. hahha!!